Humor: You might be a writer if 3

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Norm Cowie has left a new comment on your post "Humor: You might be a writer if.....":

Hmmm, by these standards, I'm not a writer. How about, you might be a writer if ...

...everything you see makes you think of a great story.
... you edit everything you write, including grocery lists, honey-do lists, etc.
... you're afraid to read because you might read something where someone wrote something just like your WIP.
...the only reason you write is because you heard writers drink and you want a reason.

Norm
http://www.normcowie.com



Posted by Norm Cowie to The Outcast at December 6, 2011 4:37 PM

 

Bumper Stickers 001

  A man responds to a help wanted ad.  The next day he is told to come to the office for an interview.  He shows up and is surprised by the look of the place.  Bumper stickers cover the walls like graffiti.
  "What's with all the stickers?" he asks.
  The interviewer laughs.  "That's what we do.  We design and sell bumper stickers."
  "Seriously, bumper stickers are our business.  That's why the name is Sticky Bumpers."
  "So how--what would I do?"
  "Design bumper and sell stickers and you get royalties on your designs and commission on the sales."
  Confused, he asked, "What if I can't think of anything for a sticker?  Or what if my ideas are already taken?"
  "Take a deep breath and relax.  You have creativity inside of you.  You just need to let it come to the surface."  The interviewer paused for a moment.  "Now close your eyes and imagine that you are taking a long drive somewhere.  Where are you going?"
  "Copper Falls, one of my favorite parks."
  "How long is the drive?"
  "Six hours."
  "Wow.  It must be a special place.  Or do you just like driving?"
  "I hate driving.  I drive the six hours to enjoy the landscape and just relax."
  "Tell me about the traffic jam on the way."
  "It's horrible.  Cars honking.  Drivers swearing.  People acting like morons."
  "What else makes the drive terrible?"
  "Tailgators.  I hate them with a passion.  I wish I had a humongous truck so I could run them over and not worry about it."
  "Now what would you say to them if you had 2 seconds?"
  "I would give them a piece of my mind!"
  "Good.  Now take that marker and write down a couple of ideas.  I'll come back in ten minutes."
  The man grabbed the marker and scribbled down the first thing that came to his mind.  Then he slid the paper to the side and wrote down another and another.  After eight ideas were finished, he looked up.
  "That was only fifteen minutes.  Imagine what you could do in a couple of hours."
  "I just wrote down what I thought of on the spur of the moment.  I can't do this all day long."
  "I think you can do a lot more than you give yourself credit for.  Why don't you come back tomorrow and we will talk business.  I am giving you the job."
  "Just like that?  You didn't really ask me any questions."
  "You jumped right in and did the job.  What could be better than that?"
  "Nothing I guess."

Humor: You might be a hiker if 2

You might be a hiker if...


You seek out the roughest trail you can find.

You climb a boulder for a photo opportunity.

You take a date to a state park.

You take a date to a waterfall.

You go hiking more than once on your vacation.

Humor: You might be a writer 2

You might be a writer if...


You want everyone to read your story.

You don't want anyone to see your story.

You can predict major plot events in a movie you know nothing about during first viewing.

You create characters for stories in your head.

Humor: You might be a writer if.....

You might be a writer if.....


You have writer's block.

You buy paper and pens by the box.

You are always working on a novel, but don't actually write it.

You have ideas for stories, but can't seem to write them down.

You wrote 10 pages a year ago, and can't concentrate to write more.

You wrote a story once and you claim you'll be famous one day.

You write in a journal everyday.

You don't write a thing.

You always talk about writing.

You write often, but crumple up the paper 'cuz it sucks.

You have thought about using a pen name.

You constantly revise a story before finishing a rough draft.

Humor: You might be a hiker if.....

You might be a hiker if.....

You drive 6 hours to see a waterfall.

You bring a backpack and trail mix for a walk in the woods.

You take more than 1 bottled water into the woods.

You can identify the type of hawk you saw last summer.

You bring a picnic lunch so you can sit and eat at the edge of a cliff.

You take 50 pictures of a waterfall.

The park ranger knows you by name.

Your backpack wears out from overuse.

You drive an hour farther to take a rougher trail.

You consider snowshoeing the winter version of hiking.

You visit more than 1 state park over the summer.

You keep the trail maps from all the state parks.

You change into boots before getting on the trail.

You drive more than an hour to view wildlife.

You go birdwatching on a cold winter day.