The sun filtered through the stained glass, casting beams of color onto the church pews. Joshua struggled to pay attention to the sermon. He couldn't really remember what the pastor said. Something about Isaiah saying Here am I. Send me. The words echoed in his head continuously. His heart began to open to the beginning of a new thought. A thought that would change his life forever.
Suddenly he was jolted back to the sermon. "And in closing, ask God: Where can You send me? Who can You minister to through me? Whose life can You change, if I show them Your love? Let's pray."
Joshua didn't even hear the pastor's prayer. He prayed a silent prayer of his own. As he prayed he felt a warmth around his body. He knew God heard his prayer.
The worship team led the congregation in one last chorus, then ended the church service. Joshua walked in a daze to the foyer.
Reality smacked him in the face. He heard snippets of conversation as he walked toward the oversized double doors at the front of the church. "How can he say he's a christian? He drinks a beer when he watches the football game." "Why did she have to come to this church? Do you know what she did for a living before this year?" "That kid is a drug addict. He's not worth my time. Why should I bother trying to witness to him? He'll just swear at me and do more drugs." "Who invited that couple? They came in t-shirts and jeans. I mean, don't they care about God? Who doesn't look their best at church?"
Joshua was relieved when he got to his car. He couldn't take all of the negativity. His heart was ready to explode. Why do they hate the world? Don't they remember that they were sinners too? Will anyone notice if somebody reaches out to the lost? Or will they banish him too?
Joshua became even more introverted at work. He was lost in thought and didn't have time to talk to his friends. He didn't read the new novel he purchased. He didn't watch tv or play any computer games. He functioned on autopilot. He was a thinking machine.
Thursday night he woke up and wept. Why? Why can't somebody else go? I'm nothing to them. I can't relate to them at all. I just make them mad. Why do You want me to go there? Please, Lord. I'm not the right man. You have other people You can send there. You can't choose me. I will just make them run away. He cried himself to sleep.
On Friday Joshua finally started talking to his coworkers again. They were relieved. He told corny jokes and listened to their stories. He appeared to be himself again. They couldn't have been more wrong.
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